My Own Struggle With Social Anxiety

  • On 1 Oktober 2018
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My Own Struggle With Social Anxiety
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Very few people know this about me. Today is the first time I’m opening up about it, once and for all.

Since I was 8 years old until well in my twenties, I suffered from a severe mental disorder called Social Anxiety Disorder. This disease was never diagnosed, treated or recognised in me, so to be honest I never even knew I had it. I just thought that this was me and that I was weird. For almost twenty years I’ve been suffering on a daily basis, in the most common everyday circumstances, and thought that this was just life.

Social Anxiety can be caused by traumatic events in childhood and causes the brain to go in ‘danger mode’ in the most random social situations. A close high school friend used to find it funny that I turned red and began to stutter when someone just asked my name, that I seemed to be terrified of boys and that I didn’t speak at all when in a group of people. But in reality it isn’t funny at all. Social Anxiety holds you in its grip and doesn’t allow you to live a normal, enjoyable life. It causes extreme irrational fear, nervousness and stress, and makes it incredibly hard to speak, make friends, socialize, go to parties or events, and to relax in general.

About a year ago I accidentally stumbled upon an article about Social Anxiety, and suddenly everything connected: I finally knew what was wrong with me all those years, that I had been facing something extremely powerful, and that many others are still stuck where I once was, feeling exactly the way I did and not knowing how to deal with themselves and with life.

But I also discovered something else: that I had completely healed. Somehow, without even knowing I was ill, I had found a cure. I took myself from being frightened and paralyzed, shy, unsocial and lonely, to spontaneous and absolutely free, singing and speaking in front of any amount of people, with lots of friends, enjoying life to the fullest. I am not kidding you when I say that this was once an impossible dream for me. It was my biggest wish and it came true. I made it come true.

Social Anxiety, or social phobia, is currently the third largest mental health care problem in the world. Knowing this now, and seeing how it affects the lives of so many people, I can’t just sit there and do nothing. I must admit that at first I didn’t feel like ‘going back there’, being reminded of the person I once was and didn’t want to be. But at the same time I really wanted those who suffer from SA to achieve the mental and emotional freedom I’m experiencing now. Though they may find it hard to believe, I know it’s possible.

When I look back upon my journey, I can now see the method I used. It is a powerful method, completely different from any other existing treatment. Soon I will make this method available for other women who suffer from Social Anxiety. My mission is to find them, help them and free them completely, so they can become confident and highly socially skilled, and enjoy life on a whole new level. My music and writings will all serve this purpose.

Lots of love 

Mari Joël

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